Kristoff St. John‘s ex-wife, Mia St. John, is reflecting on the moments she realised the late soap star was struggling to deal with the loss of their son, Julian, who passed away in 2014.
The Young and the Restless star died at home a little over a week ago at age 52, shocking his fiancee, his ex-wife and the families he left behind.
Now, the New York Post reports that Mia St John is looking back on her last conversation with him, which took place earlier that morning on the day of his death, and opening up about Kristoff’s struggle to cope with Julian’s passing.
“He called me at 11am and the first thing he said was, ‘Mia, thank God you answered,’” she shared with ET. “He was just so depressed. He was drinking and just saying, like, nonsense — that he didn’t want to be here anymore.”
Mia said Kristoff wasn’t coherent during the conversation, claiming to see Julian at his house.
“He said, ‘Julian is at the door, I gotta get the door,’” she shared. “(He) said, ‘Okay, let’s talk to Julian, bring Julian in.’ Julian came in and he said, ‘Julian is gonna take me for a walk now’ and I said, ‘No, you aren’t going for a walk right now.’”
Police were called to Kristoff’s home after concerned friends discovered his body.
Mia told the outlet that police attempted CPR but were unable to revive the soap star. Only later did she discover that he had sent her a final text.
“He said, ‘Understand, you’ve got to live in the present observe all the good things in your life and others around you. Julian would not want you to live your life with bitterness and upset, it eats away with you and drains your life slowly but surely. You must rise to the occasion and accept the beauty around you. I believe in you,’” she relayed.
A coroner completed Kristoff’s autopsy but deferred results pending a toxicology report, but Mia believes his mental health played a large role in his death.
“When Julian passed, he died of a broken heart,” she said. “These mental health issues are real. Kristoff suffered from bipolar, our son had schizophrenia and I just felt like it was so hard for people to pay attention.”
After Julian died, the former couple founded El Saber es Poder (Knowledge Is Power) Foundation to battle mental illness. While she was sceptical of Kristoff’s vision the day he died, Mia has learned to embrace what he told her.
“When he told me that Julian came to the door and I knew that my son came and took him home,” she said. “And that was my only comfort.”
If you are experiencing mental health issues or suicidal feelings contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or BeyondBlue 1300 224 636. If it is an emergency please call triple-0.
This article originally appeared in the New York Post and is republished here with permission
Originally published as Soap star ‘saw dead son’ before suicide